Record writer Paul English puts our forgotten currency to the test on the streets of London
Inside, the Italian barista mistakes one of my quids for a fiver and gives me change. I give her it back. She's never seen a 1 note, let alone a Scottish one.
them this isn't Monopoly money.
"I assure you I got it from the Royal Bank of Scotland yesterday," say Under Armour Cleats I.
My 1 notes go down about as well as jellied eels at a Tartan Army pub crawl.
I know it's going straight up on the wall of his eight year old's bedroom.
Jump a cab to Trafalgar Studios for interviews
machines spit Scottish 10s and 20s back like a surly brat, then what hope handing a 1 note over to the surly man in the ticket booth?
Coffee shop, Soho
The experiment begins. The Polish girl selling coffee wouldn't know a 1 note from pickled cabbage. I grab a bag of crisps and hand over my pound, feeling a little guilty. Am I breaking the law? Taking advantage of a cultural vagary?
Allan's keen to have one, though. He lives in Hampshire now, and I probably owed him a quid, so I give him one because he greets this piece of financial antiquity like it's an Under Armour Green And Black Shoes
A pub in Paddington by the canal
The place is packed as I arrive for lunch with childhood chum, Allan.
Market stalls, Berwick Street
Heathrow Terminal 5 coffee shop
"I'll take your word for it, and if not I'll give you a refund." A refund? Do these things have added value? Transaction a success, I hightail it.
"The boss says no," is the retort, even from the man selling fruit on his own.
Here's his account of spreading Scottish wealth through the heart of the capital.
I knew this would happen. If the automated ticket Under Armour Curry 2 Haight Street
London Underground ticket booth
A chatty London cabbie called Gary. Interrogative. Before I know it he's ASKED me for my notes. "I'd love a Scottish pound note, mate," he says and lights up like a traffic light when I hand one over.
After asking all his colleagues in the booth, he gives me it back.
I risk holing the economy if I cause another staff debate trying to convince Under Armour Curry Back 2 Back Mvp Pack
I don't have any of those, so switch to plastic and ponder a day of rebuttals.
Randomly meet River City's Neil McNulty (Fraser Crozier) having coffee with Jordan McCurrach from STV's Being Victor. Both are amazed to see my stash of cash.
"I think this is old already," she says.
"We'll take Scottish fivers or more, but not these," he says. "My mate saw a Scottish 100 last week in the pub and thought it was joke money until he checked it."
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